As our society continues to diversify, it is becoming more and more vital to comprehend gender identity amongst young children. Parents and carers are often faced with navigating the world of gender exploration, so it is imperative we approach this topic with both compassion and understanding. This statistic underscores the importance of helping kids navigate their gender journeys, as about 1.8% of adolescents are transgender, research shows.
You can reveal biological sex by the time children are three, and by five, many will understand their own gender. A guide for parents and caregivers that is designed to offer ideas and tips to help navigate gender identity conversations with the goal of greater acceptance and understanding.
Child Gender Identity Explained
It is how a person feels inside as to whether they are male or female, and may not match the genital or reproductive organs that you were born with. Because gender can be fluid, it is important to create a space where children feel safe exploring their identities.
A study conducted by the American Psychological Association concluded that early gender exploration is simply a developmental phase. Most children will likely experiment with gender expressions — clothing, hairstyles, behaviours — sometimes at home or outside their friend group. Given the importance of this element, it should be part of any child development understanding to know how good self-exploring takes root.
Helping Children Grow Up Without Gender Inequalities
- Providing a Supportive Atmosphere
There must also be a safe and supportive environment for children to reveal their gender identification. They are encouraged to avoid inflexible gender norms and talk about learning disabilities in a way that is not condescending. Feelings of acceptance can reduce anxiety and depression in kids, as per a Human Rights Campaign report. - Encouraging Open Dialogue
Talking openly about gender lets kids get honest with their questions and feelings — not just the answers that others might want them to say. Parents instead need to really hear what their child is expressing, and validate their feelings. According to a study in the Journal of Family Psychology, open communication leads not only to better mental health outcomes for LGBTQ+ youth. - Teaching Kids About Gender Diversity
Education at age-appropriate levels can increase understanding and acceptance of gender diversity. Parents can be equipped with books and other resources that depict a wide range of gender identities. Studies have shown that when children are taught the concept of gender diversity, they show more empathy for other people.
Strategies to Support Your Child’s Exploration of Gender
- Use Affirming Language
Keywords are important when you discuss gender because they must respect a child’s identity. For example, using the chosen name and pronouns if a child identifies as another gender or holding your tongue when you want to ask rude questions is in fact support of that identity. Research published by the American Academy of Pediatrics similarly found that changing the chosen name results in a 29% decrease in suicidal thoughts and a 71% drop in dysphoria (Brewster, Stillman Johnson, KcColl, Silverschotz, & Begun 2018). - Resources for Families
For helpful links about gender identity, parents and caregivers can go here. For families navigating gender identity, organisations such as PFLAG and the Gender Spectrum offer information and support. By reading or watching them, parents can have more confidence while talking about gender to their own teens. - Promote Active Communities of Support
Belonging to supportive communities enables families to feel connected and heard. Parent support groups: Parents can attend a local, online or phone meeting of like-minded parents to connect and share resources, tips, and community challenges. Research has also shown that participation in these communities strengthens families and improves the well-being of children. - Be Open to Change
It is possible for young children whose gender identity changes over time. Being open to change means that the support will also evolve as the child’s picture of their gender changes. By recognizing that gender is a journey, one can let go of this pressure and create understanding around what safety or nurturing means for the person they are talking to.
Supporting Children in Exploring Gender
- Respecting Personal Space
We should respect the choices our kids make, and that includes how they express their gender. Let them wear what they like, bring the hairstyle of their dreams and let them do the things they are passionate about so that kids can grow in confidence. In one study from the journal Child Development, children who were given more opportunities to express themselves also reported higher self-esteem and higher levels of contentment. - Setting an Example
Parents/Caregivers are models for children. When respect for diversity of every type is shown, it can motivate children to integrate these beliefs into their own. Talking about gender in those contexts, and supporting friends/family who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community can create a more accepting culture. - Tracking Media Consumption
With the plethora of media children are exposed to, how gender is being depicted within those positively impacts their faith. Through watching shows that include characters in those categories and reading children the correct type of books, these ideas can be normalised to children. For example, the ways in which gender diversity is represented in media impacts how children come to see it themselves (see research here). - Everyday Moments for Discussion
Discuss gender identity with everyday situations. Whether it is while discussing characters in books or current events, opportunities like these allow parents to help grow that understanding. A University of Michigan study finds simple conversations about gender boost children’s acceptance and awareness.
Family Resources on Gender Identity
Families, Parents, and Caregivers Related resources: LGBTQ Support and Information
What can I do now? A list of useful resources:
- PFLAG: Organization support, education, advocacy for LGBTQ+ family and allies.
- Gender Spectrum: This organisation works to create a more gender-accepting world for all types of identities.
- The Trevor Project: National organization that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ young people.
From Our Contributors: Children and Education
Education is crucial to normalising, familiarising with unconscious biases, and fostering understanding. Age-appropriate topics about gender identity and diversity can be discussed by parents.
- Books and Literature
As we read books that help us to understand gender identity and diversity, our conversations spark in new directions. Some good books to initiate the conversation with your child are “I Am Jazz” by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings or “My Princess Boy,” by Cheryl Kilodavis. - Educational Programs
Educational programs about diversity and inclusion may also be available from schools and community organisations. As an example, they can advocate for a more inclusive curriculum: one that teaches children both about gender identity and the importance of treating all individuals with respect. - Workshops and Seminars
Parents can gain the necessary skills and develop the right attitude to support their children by attending some workshops & seminars on gender identity. Employers offer this training for talking to kids about gender rights, but it’s not difficult to find.
Encouraging Acceptance of Gender Diversity
- Creating Inclusive Spaces
Equally important is to make sure spaces (homes, schools, community centres) are welcoming and inclusive. Displaying affirmational signs, language modelling, and celebrating “All are welcome” practices all help children feel recognized and cherished. - Community Service / Activism in the Community
Getting involved in community events that promote LGBTQ awareness and rights can instil acceptance and activism. Participating in pride events or local activism helps families and kids to feel more connected. - Listening and Insisting on Correct Emotions
It is important for the emotional well-being of children to be in an environment where their feelings about gender identity are validated. The Journal of Adolescent Health released a source about children who feel listened to and supported are less likely to have mental health problems.
Through acceptance of these tools and the facilitation of empathy and wisdom, parents will successfully lead their children through the subtleties of gender identity. Recognizing the significance in uplifting children on their gender experience fosters unity and empowers all luminary ones to manifest full-splayed magnificence.
